HUMAN SEXUALITY AND MARRIAGE
Qualifying Statement
Our Theological Distinctives reflect what may distinguish Calvary from other churches who also affirm the core doctrines. These distinctives indelibly shape the way Calvary Church is led & the direction the church is headed.
We DO require members to embrace this distinctive position on Human Sexuality and Marriage, because this theological position reflects a direct implication of the core doctrines of the nature of God and the nature of man, and the scriptures themselves do not allow differing interpretations or convictions on this position for followers of Jesus Christ. Therefore, as in the core doctrines, this is a doctrinal hill to die on in regard to being able to worship, fellowship, and be on mission with the gospel together. Members (or attenders) should expect that the distinctives will be maintained in all ministry environments of Calvary Church, and for the sake of unity in the church family, members should not lead or teach contrary to these distinctives in a ministry setting of the church.
Calvary resources on This Distinctive
What We Believe
Calvary Church desires to be known as a gospel-centered church that is open to all people as a place of both grace and safety. When the topic of sexual identity is brought up in many churches today it is met with scorn or avoidance. As a result, Christians can initially appear very closed, intolerant, or almost hateful. We choose to welcome all and then dialogue in light of our beliefs. Rather than being known for what we are against, we want to be known for what we affirm.
In holding firmly to the Bible, which we believe provides everything we need to know in order to flourish in life, it is critical that the understanding of any subject be grounded there rather than in the quagmire of subjective opinions or feelings. In the very beginning, as recorded in Genesis 1-2, God in his wisdom created everything with the capstone of creation being complementary sexes. Both men and women were created to flourish in life with God (i.e. do well in life by fitting with how God constructed life to be lived). This was for their good and the good of the world while ultimately honoring God. Both man and woman shared in God’s image, naturally fitting with each other in mutuality and complementarity. Theologians define this as a matter of “same/opposite” – made of the same “stuff” but opposite in gender and bearing different roles.[1]
The biblical text is clear in identifying the purpose of mutuality and complementarity between the sexes. The primary call for men and women is to rule together to steward the earth and all its resources (Gen. 1:29-30). Men and women work alongside each other using their unique gifts to proclaim and live out God’s Kingdom with the view of fulfilling the Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20). In addition, in marriage, a man and a woman covenant with each other through all of life (Gen. 2:18) agreeing together to be one whole (mutality) formed from two distinct parts (complementarity). To function with mutuality and complementarity is the virtuous life[2] that both men and women are to participate in. God’s intent from the very beginning was a purposeful design that functioned maximally within this realm (this is the biblical understanding of flourishing). Human sexuality then is a very gracious, good, and powerful gift given to people by God that should be treasured and protected.
The church believes that while sexual identity is a wonderful gift from God determined at birth, one’s sexual identity is not the primary way one is defined. A person is not the sum of their inner desires in the same way that they are not the sum of biological urges. There is something more and deeper than “attractions,” as powerful as they are, that coheres a person’s identity (i.e. who they are at the core). While feelings and desires can be affirmed and are often good, they are not the defining issue in determining a person’s identity.
Because our feelings and desires, those things that we believe will make us happy, do not solely define our identity, the Christian life must include some element of self-denial and the suffering that might come with it (Matt. 16:24; 1 Peter 2:11; 2 Cor. 12:8-10). This is described as a “cross” all Christians are to bear that is unique for each one but that often feels like more than any one can handle. God’s intent in this is that we would rely upon his grace issued forth in a personal power to stand up underneath even powerful desires and feelings that erupt in us. In regards to sexual identity and the emotions that often accompany the search for one, the church believes strongly in God’s power of abstinence and celibacy.
Further, the church does not hold that being married or single represents the core of a person’s identity. Regardless of one’s gender or marital state, the center of the Christian’s identity is found in embracing Christ’s work on the cross and the resurrection done on their behalf, as well as choosing to live out the meaning of being adopted by a loving and gracious heavenly Father. In the fullness of this gospel-identity, both genders – male and female – co-labor together in community to shed vice and to pursue virtue.
In light of this, singleness is not a deficient state but rather a noble calling that is not to be demeaned. Our Lord Jesus willingly embraced celibate singleness and the Apostle Paul affirmed both its distinct and high calling (1 Cor. 7) as a sign of the Kingdom. In short, singleness is not God’s or a person’s mistake but rather it is a unique reflection of the gospel. A person is united to their Savior as their ultimate spouse in salvation with the promise of eventual reuniting with him in future glorification.
Further, the position of Calvary Church is that marriage between a man and a woman is a very good gift from God in Creation, a sacred union that is both faithful and permanent (Gen. 1-2). We understand God’s intent from the very beginning was to institute and bless marriage in creation. Later Jesus Christ reaffirmed the sanctity of the marriage bond between a man and a woman (Matt. 19:4-6). Because God is the author of marriage, he is the one who established it and maintains its normative essence regardless of shifts in the cultural meaning of the institution.
While marriage does include pleasure, it also includes self-sacrifice and much more. Marriage is a portrayal of the gospel to the world (Ephesians 5:21-33) – grace, sin, redemption through forgiveness, and eventual restoration in the coming return of the Lord. In this sense, marriage functions as a sacrament pointing to the beauty of the gospel. While there are current arguments questioning the original purpose of marriage, the church’s position is that marriage is beautiful and multi-faceted in purpose with no reductionistic account sufficient to describe the entirety of it.
In addition, sexual intimacy, designed as a covenant between a man and woman within the confines of marriage, provides boundaries guarding a married couple from destructive intimacy with another (Matt. 15:19; 1 Cor. 6:9-11; 1 Thes. 4:3; Heb. 13:4). The only exception would be when a married couple enters into a temporary spiritual regimen of mutual consent to refrain from sexual intimacy in order to develop a deeper prayer life (1 Cor. 7:5).
Consistent with this biblical understanding, when the Apostle Paul writes, “flee sexual immorality” he used the word porneia (1 Cor. 6:18). The church throughout history has understood this word to have an all-inclusive meaning of anything that lies outside of the boundaries of God’s original intent in creation. By implication, anything that lies outside of this purview is considered sin, and consequently, to hold to any prejudicial belief that singles out one area of sin as being “worse” than others should be repented of.[3]
It is important to distinguish between temptation and willful, unrepented sin.[4] While temptation is not to be trifled with, it is what one does with temptation that is critical. As a church we recognize that everyone wrestles with temptation and, in that sense, church should be a safe place to struggle. Yet our common bond is to join with others in obedience to Jesus Christ with the desire for holiness and not to give in to temptation as the pathway to sin. As a people that share in the sinful condition, we as the church welcome with deep compassion all who confess the name of Jesus as Savior and Lord, who turn their back on sin, and in embracing Christ’s mercy and forgiveness, share in his resurrection life, which includes becoming like him in their character. As a church, we will point people to Jesus Christ, who calls the weary and heavy-laden to himself, and direct them toward spiritual community to receive the love, care, encouragement, and exhortation necessary to grapple with sin (Matt. 28:18-20; Heb. 4:16). As serious as sexual sin is, because it is a warping of a beautiful gift in creation, we believe the gospel is indeed the greater invitation, extended as it is to all who are full of sin in their hearts with the promise of redemption found only in Jesus Christ (1 Cor. 6:9-11; Titus 3:3-7).
This statement does not in any way endorse or encourage negative attitudes or behaviors toward those who are wrestling with sexual identity. Because all are welcome in the spirit of understanding and compassion, there are no grounds for hate, bullying, mocking, or joking attitudes or behaviors. All will be afforded respect even when there is a disagreement in theological presuppositions.
[1] For further reading, please refer to Calvary’s position paper on gender and ministry.
[2] Virtue meaning the excellence of a thing when it functions according to its intended purpose; when it properly fits with what it was created to do.
[3] While the list is lengthy due to the proliferation of modern sexual identities and sexual vices, it should be noted that the church does consider adultery, pornography, divorce in some instances, incest, sexual harassment, and homosexual, lesbian, and transgender behavior as ultimately sinful.
[4] When personal sin is not repented of and is held with an unwillingness to listen and respond, any application for church membership is to be withheld and serving opportunities to be curtailed until such time as a person understands the gravity of sin’s effects not only on them personally but on the community of God (Matt. 13:33; Gal. 5:7-9).
