Fathers, don’t discourage your kids, or as Paul puts it, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged” (Col. 3:21). What this verse assumes is that fathers, who are the leaders in the home, are providing discipline for their children. And it is essential that you discipline your children. (Unfortunately, this needs to be emphasized in our modern culture.) When my boys were little I asked a mentor, “How old do your kids have to be for you to discipline them?”
Children, obey and honor your parents. This pleases the Lord. When I am talking to kids in our church, I often like to ask them this question: “What’s the secret to a good life and a long life?” Sometimes they get the answer right, and sometimes they don’t. But usually when I say this verse, they catch on:
Husbands, love your wives and be gentle! The Greek text literally reads, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” The Greek word translated as “do not be harsh” can also be translated as “do not make them cry!” Now, your wife is going to cry some (maybe even a lot). I get that. And part of being gentle with her is letting her do that without trying to fix the problem. (Took me a long time to learn that.)
Wives, follow your husband’s leadership. This is fitting in the Lord. This is really controversial in modern Western society. So let me first make clear what IS NOT being said or implied. First, the call to submit does not mean that husbands are perfect. My wife would assure you that I am not. I’ve had some dumb ideas and done some stupid things. I’m thankful for God’s grace in my life!
Whatever the makeup of your household, even if you are single, widowed or divorced, or have no children, there is something for you this week. What ties all of these verses together is the fact that Scripture calls us to please the Lord in all of life. Look at the verse that comes immediately before this week’s passage: “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord…” (Colossians 3:17). That applies to every one of us! he has given us unconditional love and salvation, and we want to please him like the loving Father and loyal friend that he is! It’s sort of like the dedication at the front of a book. This life is dedicated to Christ, who died for me and to whom I am entirely devoted.
Most ministers have imperfect character and talent takes awhile to develop. I heard a baseball team manager being interviewed about his team’s chances in the playoffs. He was asked about the experience level of some of the younger talent. His response was something like this, “Yes, this is their first experience in the playoffs. But they’ve been playing this game their entire lives.” It may be awhile before you are ready for a ministry position, but you need to have some ability that God can develop.
One of my mentors used to say, “We are all a bunch of approval junkies.” This is why some people are always “managing their image;” they want others to be impressed. And it’s why people are overcommitted; they don’t want anyone to be displeased with them. If you say no, someone is going to be displeased with you. It’s why some people are overachievers and workaholics; they are obsessed with approval from their professors or their parents or some other important person. It’s why some people avoid conflict, unable to bring themselves to follow the command of Jesus to talk face-to-face because they might be rejected. So much of what we do and how we think is fueled by our desire for approval.
An illusion has formed in our collective subconscious that if we just had a little more, we would finally be satiated. Full. Satisfied. Instead, we are, as a culture, more anxious, frustrated, and stressed than we have ever been. Easterbrook wasn’t just guessing when he baldly announced we aren’t any happier with our piles of stuff; he was looking at studies, surveys, and data that confirmed it.
Timothy Keller wrote, “Prayer is continuing a conversation that God has started through his Word and his grace, which eventually becomes a full encounter with him” (Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God). God wants to hear my heart, my desires, my wants, and my needs. He is the giver of all things, and to fail to pray is, to quote Keller again, “failure to treat God as God.”
What are the marks of “real Christians”? What should followers of Christ really look like? These are important questions because nominalism—being a nominal Christian or being a Christian in name only—is a problem in the church today. Here a couple of statistics that I find both interesting and revealing:
We cannot assume that “everybody knows well what Christianity is.” Even in the church, many people are paying lip service to the key points of Christian dogma (I’m going to explain that word in a moment), but they aren’t thinking about what those words mean or driving those beliefs down into their hearts.
In his classic book, The Screwtape Letters, Oxford writer, C. S. Lewis, imagines a conversation between two devils about the best way to tempt humans. In one letter, the veteran tempter, Screwtape, tells the novice tempter, Wormwood, that he needs to take it slow. Letting his human charge commit some spectacular wickedness too soon could awaken him to the real condition of his heart and bring him to repentance.
There is no better advice I can give you regarding giving than this, start somewhere and grow. Honestly, that’s the best advice there is. Give a little and see what God will do with the gift and for you. Then, give a little more and see if His commitment to be good to you remains the same.
Paul sends some interesting greetings here. He’s mentioned in the letter a few of the people who are with him, such as Epaphroditus, and he now says hello on their behalf. But more interestingly, especially given the Philippians commitment to helping Paul spread the gospel, is the greeting from “all God’s people here” and “especially those who belong to Caesar’s household.” Let me translate:To you, the church I planted and love in Philippi, I send greetings from the church I have planted here during my imprisonment. Love it!
There is some resistance to the idea that we can and should ask God for blessings both spiritual and material. In fact, I’ve heard people say that verse 19, the last sentence in the passage above about God meeting our needs with His riches, refers solely to spiritual needs. However, the context doesn’t support that limited reading. Paul is clearly talking about physical needs in this context. Plus, the language is pretty clear. “…all your needs” would be, in fact, all your needs, and “the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” includes absolutely everything.
There is little doubt that the Philippians loved Paul (and that their affection was returned in full measure). After all, they had received from him the message of the gospel, which had changed their lives! But it wasn’t just affection that fueled their giving. They were all in for the spread of the gospel to other communities. They were committed to Paul’s work, and so they were his partners in that work. That’s likely how they saw themselves, as partners and supporters.
Over the last 50 years, the standard of living has steadily increased in Western Europe and North America. For example, the size of the average home has more than doubled since the 1960s and spending on vacations and eating out have soared (Americans spend on average $1100 per year, per person on vacations). We have every imaginable creature comfort at our fingertips from dishwashers, to smart phones, to flat screen TVs.
It is no coincidence that we begin Philippians, a book written by a man who truly found joy, during a season of the year when joy permeates songs and greetings. For all its hopefulness and good feeling, the Christmas season sometimes draws into sharp relief how little joy we seem to experience. We sing, “Joy to the World,” but there is so much misery. As Christians, we are to be a people marked by joy, but so many of us struggle to find it. Even when we resolve to fight for joy, as we often need to do, we wonder how to grab hold of it when our lives are so far from perfect. We’ll explore those topics in this series, but the answer lies in the very person we’re celebrating during Advent, Jesus Christ.
There are so many great Christian resources on romance, desire, and sex, including both lay and scholarly commentaries on Song of Songs. Below some works/authors I highly recommend. You'll find them in the Calvary Church bookstore or online.
Anderson Cooper, Oprah, and Lady Gaga are talking about sex and romance. Your kids’ friends are talking about it (parents, don’t be naïve). The Disney Channel is talking about it. It’s on Youtube, iTunes, TV commercials, and billboards. We are not going to get away from this topic, and that’s okay because we need to be talking about it. God does. There is sex in His book! While we’re NOT talking about it, marriages are being destroyed, singles are living in guilt, and teens are struggling. Our silence is deafening.
